Friendships are something we tend to view as very important. We value the companionship; we recognize the benefit of having people we can depend on for advice, safety, help and comradery. As one’s life moves, presumably forward, the way we begin to view the friends around us certainly changes, not to mention the make up of our network of friends. As children, the requirements we lay out for what constitutes a friend are both less stringent and yet more fickle than those we impose upon others in adulthood. As a child, if someone shares their sandwich with you or asks you to participate in a game of tag, that can be just as friendship binding as if you guys had a sleepover, during which you stayed up until 3am laughing about the other kids in your class that you mutually agreed were not friend material. As adults, the circumstances under which we meet each other and to what degree our environment is shaped by these events is certainly open to a much wider pool of candidates and thus variation in how we come to call someone a friend. In most situations, we don’t require a sleepover to call someone a friend, however, in adulthood, a sleepover takes on a whole different meaning (for a little color on this touchy topic, glance over a not so fictional tale at (http://womanofexperience.blogspot.com/2008/07/friends-and-lovers.html).

When we are young, however, our friendships are loosely, if at all, tied to how a person improves our standard of living but as we get older, many of the friends we choose to maintain are done so not just out of altruistic or spiritual motives (as many of us would like to believe) but out of practical and accommodating circumstances. This is not to say that our friendships as adults are any less pure than those we forge in preadolescence, but the substance of these friendships becomes quantifiable and I would argue, more real than those we consummated in a make shift fort in our friend’s parents’ living room at 3 in the morning (there are better resources out there than me when it comes to everything friendly, so if you are interested in digging deeper check out http://friendshipblog.blogspot.com). A perception of substance, if not true substance, is something many of us look for because it is what affirms friendships. What makes this quest for substantive examples interesting is that without looking for it or fostering it, it may never manifest itself.

In the beginning of a friendship, we have to believe in something that does not exist so ultimately it can come to exist. Here is where the crux of many adulthood relationships begin to find a meaningful and self perpetuating momentum that is often not found in youthful friendships. Because of the world we live in, success and survival are concepts that overlap each other to the extent that we don’t really know where the instinct to survive ends and the drive for success begins. This balance is no more evident in the process we use to engage people in the art of “friendshipping”. It is wonderful to meet talented people and admire them for what they are or appreciate them for their character, but it’s another thing to realize that these attributes might be the reason you make the effort to become closer to them and through that process the reason you two become friends and thus experience all that a friendship has to offer, far exceeding just your acknowledgement of their unique attributes.

To me, the Cabcorner project has brought into focus some of these realities. I have begun to engage old friends, once removed friends, mere acquaintances, and new friends more personally now that we are supporting each other in this pursuit to create something that will bring a sense of professional fulfillment but also a sense of accomplishment that might serve to deepen friendships and consequently, our individual qualities of life. Friends like Lou Carpino (www.nolorecords.com), who I have been in and out of touch with for 10 years, is now solidly back in the fold and it feels as though we have not missed a beat. Jesse Sommer, an old college buddy (for a glimpse into the man behind the myth, before he even became a man, check out http://wesleyanargus.com/2004/12/10/weekly-wes-celeb-jesse-sommer-05/ ) I use to fraternized with, principally because we shared some common interests and our immediate friends were often friends, is now back in my life but under very different circumstances. Jesse and I are maintaining a relationship without having to depend on the cross pollination of similar friends, we are directly engaging because of our mutual interest in CabCorner.com. Sankho Mallik (blog.sankhomallik.com ) was introduced to me by Jesse and now I see Sankho more often than either Lou or Jesse with whom I have more history. I have also reached out to a good friend of mine, Andrew Unger (lifebooker.com) with whom I did have those youthful sleepovers and have known since I was 5 yrs old. But as time does, we had drifted apart until recently. As of late, we have been able to go to dinner and shoot the (bleep) as casually as we used to, due in large part to a common interest in seeing Cabcorner succeed. Bianca Sultana (http://biancasultana.com/Home.html), an old acquaintance from college has now come back into my life, partially because she is now dating one of my best friends from college but also because I sought her out for her unique talents as a PR guru, which might become instrumental in defining Cabcorner.com as a successful project. Eric Goldwyn (to get where he is coming from it’s worth taking a look at, http://www.intransitionmag.org/Winter_2008/probes.html), a long time friend who I have never drifted too far from since our days in high school, is part of my regular communications due in part to his interest in urban planning but more appropriately because of his specific interest in what I am doing with this project. We do lunch and other common socializing routines more often simply because this project exists.

The creation of this project has been a lot of different things for me, but in terms of friendships, it has been a wonderful catalyst in creating new ones as well as rekindling old ones. These things must be fostered, even if you come to the realization that many friendships in adulthood are born of pragmatic origins, the presence of friendship, especially those founded during adulthood, can help one to not only survive but thrive. Doing a project that is built on the backs of friendship is already a success even if the project fails in its original mission.